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I Am Also Weird
“I am also a little weird”. These words gave me a whole new appreciation of a beloved talmid. Allow me to explain. This talmid, let's call him Dovid, had a rebbe check into a girl during the dating process. The rebbe reported that the young lady sounds amazing but she is, to put it bluntly, a little weird. What would we respond? "If so, this is not for me". We might even be very angry at the shadchan for suggesting such an idea. Not Dovid. In a moment of no small greatness he said “That’s okay, I am also a little weird”. He looked deep inside and realized that for him her being a little weird was fine. Dovid and that young lady are now a happily married couple (albeit a little weird)!
“I am also a little weird”. These words gave me a whole new appreciation of a beloved talmid. Allow me to explain. This talmid, let's call him Dovid, had a rebbe check into a girl during the dating process. The rebbe reported that the young lady sounds amazing but she is, to put it bluntly, a little weird. What would we respond? "If so, this is not for me". We might even be very angry at the shadchan for suggesting such an idea. Not Dovid. In a moment of no small greatness he said “That’s okay, I am also a little weird”. He looked deep inside and realized that for him her being a little weird was fine. Dovid and that young lady are now a happily married couple (albeit a little weird)!
In My Wet Socks
As I put my shoeless, wet feet up on the well-used footrest in my living room, I briefly reflected on my economical nature. A few weeks earlier while in Silver Spring I had the opportunity to buy some rugged boots in Costco. Realizing that in my own Yerushalayim golashes almost always suffice, I opted not to spend the twenty-five dollars. If I had bought those boots I wouldn’t have been in my wet socks now. But that was fine as this was the effect of the decision I prudently and happily made.
I then began thinking about times when I am not so thrifty and about the danger of the labels, both good and bad, that we and others award ourselves.
As I put my shoeless, wet feet up on the well-used footrest in my living room, I briefly reflected on my economical nature. A few weeks earlier while in Silver Spring I had the opportunity to buy some rugged boots in Costco. Realizing that in my own Yerushalayim golashes almost always suffice, I opted not to spend the twenty-five dollars. If I had bought those boots I wouldn’t have been in my wet socks now. But that was fine as this was the effect of the decision I prudently and happily made.
I then began thinking about times when I am not so thrifty and about the danger of the labels, both good and bad, that we and others award ourselves.
A Flavor Called Simcha
I recently encountered a new approach to a favorite "Avodah Thoughts" topic; Simcha B'Mitzvos. Rav Aharon L. Steinman שליט"א, the guide and light of our generation, explained the centrality of joy in Mitzvos with an amazing mashal. When someone prepares an everyday meal they may or may not add spices to enhance the taste. However, it is unthinkable not to add flavoring to a special meal. The principle - for important things we don’t suffice with the basics rather we make sure they taste their best.
I recently encountered a new approach to a favorite "Avodah Thoughts" topic; Simcha B'Mitzvos. Rav Aharon L. Steinman שליט"א, the guide and light of our generation, explained the centrality of joy in Mitzvos with an amazing mashal. When someone prepares an everyday meal they may or may not add spices to enhance the taste. However, it is unthinkable not to add flavoring to a special meal. The principle - for important things we don’t suffice with the basics rather we make sure they taste their best.
The Fall
The sharp pain greeting me as I leaned my elbow on a shtender reminded me of my recent “power fall". It happened one evening as I turned the corner of my bed. I slipped on a blanket and banged into the bed board and the floor simultaneously, hurting myself in no less than five places. Five in one! No small feat - that’s why I call it a “power fall".
The sharp pain greeting me as I leaned my elbow on a shtender reminded me of my recent “power fall". It happened one evening as I turned the corner of my bed. I slipped on a blanket and banged into the bed board and the floor simultaneously, hurting myself in no less than five places. Five in one! No small feat - that’s why I call it a “power fall".
Nanosecond
“Celebrate for a nanosecond. Then move on.” -Michael Dell
This quote, certainly pithy and arguably true in business practice, comes up short when applied to the world of Ruchniyus and personal development.
“Celebrate for a nanosecond. Then move on.” -Michael Dell
This quote, certainly pithy and arguably true in business practice, comes up short when applied to the world of Ruchniyus and personal development.
Shod
Members of Rav Aharon Kotler’s entourage were once unsuccessfully trying to recall a certain phone number. They asked the Rosh Yeshiva for the number and he shot it out with the lighting speed he was famous for. His wife, the life-long guardian of the glorious Torah mind which was Rav Aharon’s, blurted out “A shod of a guta kop!” (a waste of a good head). The great Rebbetzin was reminding her illustrious husband that his Kop was made for better things than phone numbers.
Members of Rav Aharon Kotler’s entourage were once unsuccessfully trying to recall a certain phone number. They asked the Rosh Yeshiva for the number and he shot it out with the lighting speed he was famous for. His wife, the life-long guardian of the glorious Torah mind which was Rav Aharon’s, blurted out “A shod of a guta kop!” (a waste of a good head). The great Rebbetzin was reminding her illustrious husband that his Kop was made for better things than phone numbers.
Simcha v’Tuv Leivav – Different types of Simcha b’Mitzvos
(תחת אשר לא עבדת ה' אליך בשמחה והטוב לבב- פרשת כי תבא)-
One may ask, what are the two different types of simcha b’mitzvos referred to in the Passuk, and more specifically what does "טוב לבב" mean?
From the sefer מוסר אביך I understood a fundamental interpretation which teaches us two distinct ways to enjoy mitzvos.
(תחת אשר לא עבדת ה' אליך בשמחה והטוב לבב- פרשת כי תבא)-
One may ask, what are the two different types of simcha b’mitzvos referred to in the Passuk, and more specifically what does "טוב לבב" mean?
From the sefer מוסר אביך I understood a fundamental interpretation which teaches us two distinct ways to enjoy mitzvos.
Three for Fifteen
It is rare that I even think about buying anything during my daily trips through the Arab shuk. One day, however I noticed some badly needed shoe polish on a shelf. I didn’t even have to haggle, as the price was a very reasonable three for fifteen shekels.
I learned the hard way that there was a reason the price was so low. It was perhaps the worst polish I had ever bought. From sitting on the seller’s shelf it sat on my shelf. Every Friday it stared down from its high perch and mocked me for buying it. From time to time, I would try to squeeze out a bit of the worthless stuff and I was disappointed every time. Many months later in a moment of inspiration and personal freedom I finally threw them away. Yes!
It is rare that I even think about buying anything during my daily trips through the Arab shuk. One day, however I noticed some badly needed shoe polish on a shelf. I didn’t even have to haggle, as the price was a very reasonable three for fifteen shekels.
I learned the hard way that there was a reason the price was so low. It was perhaps the worst polish I had ever bought. From sitting on the seller’s shelf it sat on my shelf. Every Friday it stared down from its high perch and mocked me for buying it. From time to time, I would try to squeeze out a bit of the worthless stuff and I was disappointed every time. Many months later in a moment of inspiration and personal freedom I finally threw them away. Yes!
The Wow Affect
There is a constant battle in life against negativity. As we have spoken about in recent “Avodah Thoughts”, dealing with this is no easy thing. It takes time and focus to undue undesirable thoughts and to create positive thinking.
The Friendly Grandfather
In “The Grandfather”, we learned about the power of negative thinking and how to fix it. Let us now go forward towards leveraging positive thinking. If the grandfather of action is thought, the grandfather of positive action is positive thought.
The Grandfather
“How in the world did I get into this mess?” one wonders. Sometimes, we find ourselves feeling and speaking about some situation in a surprising way. We are acting incorrectly, but lack understanding about how to escape the negative cycle we find ourselves in. In short, we are off. A very wise man said “the Grandfather of action is thought."
Simcha B'Mitzvos; the "One"?
After writing three segments on Simcha B’Mitzvos, one wonders why yet another piece on this topic. The truth is this may be the most important Avodah thought I have ever written! The famous גמ' at the end of מכות
says בא חבקוק והעמידם על אחת צדיק באמונתו יחיה He was imparting a derech to enable one to connect to and fulfill the whole Torah. Yeridas hadoros necessitated such approaches as people could no longer fulfill the whole Torah without specific central focus points to build off of. חבקוק perceived that through Emunah one could connect to all the commandments.
Cats
It was a beautiful Shabbos morning in Yerushalayim. It was right after this year’s ‘blizzard’ and the fresh air, mid morning sun, and melting snow were the perfect backdrops for a pleasant walk. I was on my way to deliver a dvar Torah at the local nursing home and took advantage of the time to collect my thoughts and appreciate the wonderful surroundings. I arrived at my destination and there they were – cats, three of them. At that moment it dawned on me that I don’t like cats. It seems funny to say, but I don’t go for their “energy”. They seem cagey, suspicious and even sneaky. ..And then I remembered a Chazal – לך לאומן שעשני “go to the craftsman that made me”.
"It's a gevaldige zach..."
Rav Ephraim Kirshenbaum excitedly remarked as he returned the cellphone to its owner. This morning, Erev Shabbos right before Shevuos, I remembered the Rav saying this as I had a rare sense of appreciation for my own phone. In the rush of the day, my trusty cellphone helped me accomplish an impressive array of tasks and for a brief moment I shared the Rav's appreciation for this fine piece of modern technology.
What is the secret of his unusual appreciation?
Arvus Part III
An amazing comment based on the Ramchal was brought in Part 2. I quote:
The root of Arvus is totally for the benefit of each individual. The Ramchal writes that it was specifically so that each Jew could benefit from the positive actions of others that Hashem linked all of Klal Yisrael together. Through this intense bond, each Jew can connect to another’s merits to attain the paramount spiritual prize of Olom Haba. The natural consequence of this benefit is a commensurate responsibility for another’s sins and מצוה responsibilities.
Arvus Part II
In Part 1 we learned how far reaching Arvus is and offered three practical steps towards connecting to Arvus on a deeper level. Part 2 will continue with these themes.
Arvus isn’t just about being מוציא others in מצוות, even if you have fulfilled your מצוה and giving up on your hiddur מצוה for another’s basic מצוה or (possibly) your מצוה דרבנן for another’s מצוה דאורייתא.
Arvus
A central topic in תורה which, so to speak, doesn’t get the attention it deserves is Arvus. The level of responsibility that the Jewish people have for one another is truly amazing. Let us reflect on the well known din of אף על פי שיצא מוציא – that even if one has fulfilled his מצוה he can still act for another Jew who hasn’t yet fulfilled his מצוה. Why is this so?
Getting to a Deeper Place
When one thinks of the word “mussar” many ideas come to mind; a shmuze, a vaad, seder mussar, or Mesilas Yesharim. One thing we don’t think about is what Rav Yisrael Salanter, the founder of the mussar movement, was really after- to get us to a deeper place.
"Critique Please"- Part III
In Part 2 we introduced the concept of אוהב את התוכחות and claimed that the “critique seeker”[1] has undoubtedly entered this class. In Part 3 we will break down the “critique seeker” into different sub-categories.
"Critique Please"- Part III
In Part 2 we introduced the concept of אוהב את התוכחות and claimed that the “critique seeker”[1] has undoubtedly entered this class. In Part 3 we will break down the “critique seeker” into different sub-categories.
"Critique Please"- Part II
We posed a question in Part 1. Why is it that in business, sports and other fields people are ready to accept critique and in the ultimately more important “field of life” they aren’t?
"Critique Please"- Part I
Does the title "Critique please" make you cringe? Critique is something we all have trouble dealing with. Let us try to understand this essential matter.
There are 3 major categories of dealing with critique: rejection, consideration, and acceptance. These 3 categories break down into various sub-categories.
"Critique Please"- Part I
Does the title "Critique please" make you cringe? Critique is something we all have trouble dealing with. Let us try to understand this essential matter.
There are 3 major categories of dealing with critique: rejection, consideration, and acceptance. These 3 categories break down into various sub-categories.
Machlokes Part II
Part 1 claimed that “if we can get rid of the machlokes in us we can start to weaken its terrible power in the world”. I listed five elements found in a full-blown machlokes and tried to apply them to our lives.
These are external manifestations of a machlokes. What is taking place in the inner world of the parties? If we can correctly identify those things we can, בע"ה, begin to eradicate them in ourselves.
We will speak about four inner world elements.
Machlokes Part II
Part 1 claimed that “if we can get rid of the machlokes in us we can start to weaken its terrible power in the world”. I listed five elements found in a full-blown machlokes and tried to apply them to our lives.
These are external manifestations of a machlokes. What is taking place in the inner world of the parties? If we can correctly identify those things we can, בע"ה, begin to eradicate them in ourselves.
We will speak about four inner world elements.
Machlokes Part I
I recently ran into the son of the Rebbe of a very well known Chassidus. He was surrounded by a small group of Chassidim. Introductions were made and we spoke for a moment. I knew his famous last name. I told him I had read a book about his forbearers. He is a pleasant person and I immediately had a good feeling about him.
Practiacal Simcha B'mitzvos Part I
חז"ל say that אחד בצער שוה למאה שלא בצער – a מצוה done with difficulty is worth one hundred times a מצוה done without difficulty. Rav Yisrael taught that the minimum shiur of “difficulty” can be culled from the גמרא בערכין טז:which says:
עד היכן תכלית יסורין...אפילו הושיט ידו לכיס ליטול שלש ועלו בידו שתים..
Practical Simcha B'mitzvos Part II
In Part #2 I would like to give further practical direction in reaching simcha b’mitzvos. How can we gain more and more joy in mitzvos? Part #1 was working with where we are; Part #2 is to develop us further.
Let us focus on four central areas.
Practical Simcha B'mitzvos Part II
In Part #2 I would like to give further practical direction in reaching simcha b’mitzvos. How can we gain more and more joy in mitzvos? Part #1 was working with where we are; Part #2 is to develop us further.
Let us focus on four central areas.
Practical Simcha B'mitzvos Part I
When we think about simcha b’mitvos it naturally seems very far from us. If so, why even try to reach this exalted level?
This is a masterful trick of the yetzer hara. He makes us believe that a certain level in avodas Hashem is unattainable. Consequently, we never achieve that level, the levels that could have grown out of that level and all the accompanying joy and kirvas haborei. The yetzer is very smart and knows where to put his efforts.
When we think about simcha b’mitvos it naturally seems very far from us. If so, why even try to reach this exalted level?
This is a masterful trick of the yetzer hara. He makes us believe that a certain level in avodas Hashem is unattainable. Consequently, we never achieve that level, the levels that could have grown out of that level and all the accompanying joy and kirvas haborei. The yetzer is very smart and knows where to put his efforts.
Thoughts for Tu B'shvat
Simanim; a system for holding onto spiritual accomplishments
SIMANIM AS A WAY OF HOLDING ONTO ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN AVODAS HASHEM AND AS A WAY OF BEING REMINDED ABOUT WHAT WE WANT TO BE REMINDED ABOUT
One of the great difficulties in עבודת ה' is how does one hold onto his accomplishments. For example one focused on תפילה for a few months and gained many things; as he turns to another area in his עבודה how does he hold onto all that he gained in תפילה?
Thoughts for Tu B'shvat
Simanim; a system for holding onto spiritual accomplishments
SIMANIM AS A WAY OF HOLDING ONTO ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN AVODAS HASHEM AND AS A WAY OF BEING REMINDED ABOUT WHAT WE WANT TO BE REMINDED ABOUT
One of the great difficulties in עבודת ה' is how does one hold onto his accomplishments. For example one focused on תפילה for a few months and gained many things; as he turns to another area in his עבודה how does he hold onto all that he gained in תפילה?